2400 Jokes to Brighten Your Speeches by Robert Orben PDF

By Robert Orben

ISBN-10: 0307817598

ISBN-13: 9780307817594

Enormous quantities of jokes supply a funny viewpoint on airways, paintings, activities, gardening, resorts, university, urban existence, the government, inventory marketplace, marriage, playing, and the economy

Note from the uploader: those jokes aren't humorous.

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Sample text

As a baby, shortly after stumbling across my dad’s merkin. The pattern was set, and Mum swears I didn’t sleep for the next five years. She and my poor sleep-deprived father would take it in turns to walk me around the bedroom on their shoulder while they sang in what Dylan Thomas described as the slow, black, crowblack darkness of the Welsh night, waiting for my body to go limp and my breathing to slide into the telltale rhythm of sleep. Mum’s repertoire consisted of ‘Lili Marlene’, ‘You Are My Sunshine’ and the now-forgotten song that sounded like the set-up to a Jackie Mason gag, ‘The Three Jews’ (‘Once upon a time there were three Jews / Once upon a time there were three Jews / Juh-ewuh, Jew, Jew, Jew / Juh-ewuh, Jew, Jew, Jew / Once upon a time there were three Jews …’), all the while patting my back in rhythm with the song.

I had never witnessed anything like this from my dad and was in shock as I sat down on my bed. I turned to David to ask if he was all right; he must surely be shocked and upset too, but he just laughed. He’d seen it all before. At breakfast the next day it was as though it had never happened. I went out to the apartment a few times with David and his parents, and once (when we were in our late teens) just with David, to decorate the flat and have a little holiday at the same time. We had strict instructions as to the colour of paint and trekked off to the local paint shop, returning fully equipped and ready for action.

It was Miss Leahy’s class and she was reading to us from The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, appropriately enough, given my initial reaction to entering the school via the tiny door at the back. Talking to David I discovered that he lived just a few streets away from me in Baglan and would therefore be travelling to school with me every morning on the bus. This was as long and tortuous a route as it is possible to plot from Baglan to Swansea. Every morning I would board the bus outside a row of shops a few streets away from home and we’d trundle along through Baglan, picking up David en route, then through Briton Ferry, past the Metal Box factory in Neath, along to Birchgrove, through Llansamlet and then finally, an hour after I’d got on, we’d arrive at school.

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2400 Jokes to Brighten Your Speeches by Robert Orben

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